A Leap of Faith into the World of Writing

Unveiling My Creative Journey, Overcoming Procrastination, and Embracing Imperfection

Hello and welcome to my little corner of the internet. I'm not entirely sure what I'm doing here, but I've been eager to start sharing snippets of my writing, little postcards from wherever I find myself in the world. Today is Tuesday, November 2, 2023, and I've decided to just JUMP. Take the leap of faith and begin today.

I'm in Malibu. One of my favourite places on earth and where I’ve been fortunate to spend a few days, a few times a year over the past four years. A fire crackling beside me and waves of the Pacific ocean are crashing in front of me. I am grateful for this paradise and grateful for the friend who graciously lets me stay here in this mid-century beach house. This evening I will take the red-eye back to Toronto and then back to the farm I have called home since March 2020. Another paradise I am so grateful for.

Life has been a wild ride for me, filled with ups, downs, and everything in between. I've often pushed myself to the limit, sometimes beyond exhaustion, all in pursuit of something I deeply crave: connection. Music and songwriting have been my compass, leading me into the hearts of others and, more importantly, into my own.

It's been quite amusing to observe just how much I've been procrastinating as I work on editing some of the writing I’ve done over the years. My inner critic has manifested in unexpected ways, creeping out from hidden corners I never knew existed. I've been overthinking everything: the way it looks, the font, how it sounds, how fast it reads, the grammer.. I’ve found every possible excuse to delay actually posting. It's funny how our minds try to protect us from being exposed, isn't it? I know deep down that the only way to truly discover my own unique voice, my style, my tone, is by just starting and doing it, even if it's not perfect. In fact, it will never be perfect, and it will leave me feeling vulnerable, but that's where the growth lies. And yes, I’m still scared shitless.

Part of my procrastination stems from my lack of formal education in writing. I've been writing songs for over 30 years, keeping journals and jotting down thousands of words with the hope of one day crafting a memoir or a book.. The ideas in my head are patiently waiting in line, vying for my attention, creating an unending queue of inspiration. I have stories to share, but I worry that they might appear scattered without a clear theme – just reflections of whatever was on my mind in the moment I wrote them.

A substantial portion of my writing process involves dedicating 10 minutes a day to stream-of-consciousness writing, allowing whatever thoughts come to mind to flow onto the page. It’s raw and unfiltered. And maybe I’ll share some of those entries here and maybe I will edit the hell out of them in a moment of .. please don’t see me, don’t let me be seen.

I'm currently taking a sabbatical from the road dog that lives inside me. I've been touring relentlessly,  for the last 25 years, stage right in a duo called Madison Violet. I play guitar, I sing, I play harmonica and I write songs. Although I hesitate to call myself a writer writer, seven years ago, I sat down at my kitchen table in my loft in Toronto and wrote for what felt like five days straight. Stories poured out of me, like a stream of consciousness journal, object writing, the beginnings of a memoir, and countless road stories, countless hours of voice memos. It felt like an outpouring of creativity, and then it stopped. I'd only write on occasion, much like when I started painting about 14 years ago. I was madly in love with it, producing canvas after canvas, but my inner critic eventually convinced me I was a lousy painter, a fraud. So I stopped. And now. I need to buy more paint. And I will because though my paints have all dried up, I feel like I might just be getting started.

Sometimes I ask myself, "Why do it at all?" Why engage in any creative endeavour? What motivates me to start this blog and share my writing with you? These questions were recently sparked by my reading of 'Ishmael' by Daniel Quinn, a book from 1992 that sold millions of copies but somehow had escaped my attention. A friend gave it to me while I was on tour in Switzerland, and I highly recommend reading it. In an overpopulated world where many of us grapple with the notion that existence is a double-edged sword, the perspective it offers is both liberating and unsettling.

Essentially, everything we do may seem devoid of inherent purpose, and life, without the meanings we assign to it, might appear devoid of real value. So why do we rise from our beds each morning? Why engage in any activity? Why live? Well, I guess it's because I'm here. Just the mere fact that I exist seems reasonable enough to explore what will unfold today. Curiosity is, perhaps, a foundational reason to keep dreaming and doing the things I've always wanted to do. So here I am, ready to share my thoughts, stories, and musings with you. My hope is that I will satisfy my yearning for genuine connections, a respite from the quick-bite existence of social media. This is where I aim to convey my true feelings, shaped by my current perspective, some new music, maybe some artwork, paintings, airstream remodelling... I hope you'll join me.