Dead Mouse

Exploring the unexpected connections between a small creature, a powerful quote, and the act of creation.

Friday Friday Friday, seems like a good day to share so…

Today, I’m sharing for the first time (GAH) some of my paintings and I’m beginning with the last two paintings I made. The first one I painted mostly during an art class I took a few weeks ago, and the second one came a few days later, using a similar color palette.

It is always a mystery to me, how the shapes and hues of the world—often unnoticed, find their way into my work.

On November 11 at 8:36 am, on a quiet morning walk, I stumbled upon a small, lifeless creature—a mouse or perhaps a mole—its body curled, legs lifted toward the sky in an unspoken gesture. For reasons I still don’t understand, I paused to capture the moment, filming and photographing it as though I knew it would matter somehow. When I returned to my studio, I glanced at the painting I had begun the night before and had returned to earlier that same morning, and there it was—the gray section of the canvas, strange and still—now unmistakably the mouse. I’m not sure what it all means. What I do know is that I had just read a quote by Muhammad Ali ‘ what you are thinking is what you are becoming’ , which was a journal prompt at the top of my page and the next thing I’m out in the airstream typing the quote on a teabag and pasting it into the painting. (I guess that makes it mixed media... still learning the ropes here). Was I inspired by the quote? Who's to say. As I write this, I’m reminded of a David Whyte poem called Sweet Darkness, which I've listened to a hundred times over. In that poem, he speaks of the importance of darkness, of the unknown, and of what we often resist but need in order to grow. Maybe the mouse represents the small, familiar world we trap ourselves in when we get caught in endless loops of rumination—those repetitive, unproductive thoughts that keep us confined in our own minds. When we fall into these cycles, we aren't able to move forward, aren't able to step into new possibilities. We become trapped in our own thinking, unaware of how much power it has over us. Like the mouse, we may be running around in circles, thinking we are searching for something, but not realizing that the only thing we need to change is our perspective.

"What you are thinking is what you are becoming," feels so poignant now. It reminds me that we can choose our thoughts, we can break free from the loops, and by doing so, we have the power to change who we are becoming. Maybe the act of writing the quote on the teabag and pasting it into the painting was a way of reminding myself of that.

Who the eff knows. What I do know for certain, it wasn’t something I could have painted on purpose, nor would I have chosen such a subject, but there it was, appearing as if it had always belonged. The world, in all its quiet and sudden beauty, finds a way to reveal itself when we least expect it.

This week, I made the frame for the second painting. My dad used to make these for me, and now I’m doing it myself, which makes me feel like he’s standing along side me. I love working with the router, mitre saw, track saw, and even the thousand clamps it takes to hold everything in place while it dries—that part’s fun, too. There’s something deeply satisfying about shaping the frame with my hands, just as he once did.

If you’re interested in finding out more about either of these paintings or would like to see some other pieces I’ve been working on, send me a message. Have a great weekend! xo